Comments on: Little Ones (And Big Ones) Crave Equality http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/ Tips on How to Be the Best Grandparents For Both Your Grandkids AND Your Kids! Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:08:06 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Minx http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-413 Minx Thu, 22 May 2008 02:36:34 +0000 http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-413 I cant stand my Mother inlaw and father inlaw purely for the fact my two children are not at all treated equally to the other grandchildren! The worst thing is i have a step daughter (my childrens big sister) That is one of the "favorites" so it sounds silly and immature but it makes me resent her for something the grandparents are doing!! Although she does play on it and try to get all the attention possible from the grandparents, i still just dont think what they are doing is right! 10 months before my first daughter was born their "first" grandson was born and he is also one of the 3 favorites, they would have him over night from day one, take him to the park, the movies, have him most weekends so the parents can relax, do things with him almost on a daily basis, where as my little girl rarely gets to do anything with them and when she does (about 4 times a year) my mother inlaw makes it seem like such hard work, oh and not to mention my 2nd daughter who is coming up 2 and hasnt even so much as been taken to the swings let alone had a sleep over. I just think this sort of favoritism form grandparents is totally inexcusable, i can understand a little bit of unfairness but when they make it so obvious that they love some grandchildren more than others it just breaks my heart :( I cant stand my Mother inlaw and father inlaw purely for the fact my two children are not at all treated equally to the other grandchildren! The worst thing is i have a step daughter (my childrens big sister) That is one of the “favorites” so it sounds silly and immature but it makes me resent her for something the grandparents are doing!! Although she does play on it and try to get all the attention possible from the grandparents, i still just dont think what they are doing is right! 10 months before my first daughter was born their “first” grandson was born and he is also one of the 3 favorites, they would have him over night from day one, take him to the park, the movies, have him most weekends so the parents can relax, do things with him almost on a daily basis, where as my little girl rarely gets to do anything with them and when she does (about 4 times a year) my mother inlaw makes it seem like such hard work, oh and not to mention my 2nd daughter who is coming up 2 and hasnt even so much as been taken to the swings let alone had a sleep over. I just think this sort of favoritism form grandparents is totally inexcusable, i can understand a little bit of unfairness but when they make it so obvious that they love some grandchildren more than others it just breaks my heart :(

]]> By: Mia's Mommy http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-344 Mia's Mommy Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:42:35 +0000 http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-344 It was so refreshing to stumble across this website, particularly this article. My mother-in-law denies favoritism and it hasn't affect my kids yet, but it affects my husband. What's sad is that sooo many grandparents deny favoritism even when presented with articles and journal studies that address the issue. My situation is different however, because my MIL and FIL accuses me of not loving my step-son as a way to cover up their favoritism. It was so refreshing to stumble across this website, particularly this article. My mother-in-law denies favoritism and it hasn’t affect my kids yet, but it affects my husband. What’s sad is that sooo many grandparents deny favoritism even when presented with articles and journal studies that address the issue. My situation is different however, because my MIL and FIL accuses me of not loving my step-son as a way to cover up their favoritism.

]]> By: radsad http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-9 radsad Sat, 23 Jun 2007 06:57:06 +0000 http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-9 okay I so see your point, as my children grew up like that. There was always one special grandchild but hey we moved away, did out thing and bingo, we are now grandparents to 4 wonderful children. My dilema is and always has been, the twins live with us, they were our first grandchildren and needed us from the start due to their drug running, thieving so called mother. Our son is their dad, but at 17 he wasn't ready to be a dad, so we took over. The twins didn't ask to be born and their crappy life wasn't fair. Then along came our daughters beautiful little girl. But they lived in Texas and us in Washington. So far, too many states but hey this grandma called every single day and I still do. Five years later along came our other beautiful granddaughter, our miracle baby as we call her. Our daughter was almost lost as well as our granddaughter. BUT and here's the BUT!! WE included all the children in this event. Headed right over to Idaho where they moved to from Texas, and the twins and Miranda's older sister Mikayla helped take care of Miranda. Learned the heart monitor, how to change diapers, how to hold her etc. All together as ONE and that's the way I like it. I have had many talks with the twins and with Miranda and Mikayla. I know I asked the twins how they think the girls feel. They live with us and see us 24/7 yet the girls only see us a few times a year. So when we are all together I apologize if I seem to spend more time with the girls. It's great but the twins understand and tell me they love their cousins and all is good. Now it's the older ones taking the little ones out to the movie, shopping etc and the little girls just love it. They idolize their older cousins. I know Mikayla adores Ashley especially when Ashley cleans out her closet and passes all the "neat" clothes down. Miranda tells Bryce he is a fun cousin. Now how lucky am I??? A Grandmother, yet mother, yet always open with everyone. No favortism allowed in this house. Of course the 6yr old gets treated different from the 11 yr old or the 18 yrs old, but that's just age. They all know we love them deeply, all like our own. Now we have the girls for 3 weeks, well, boo hoo only one week left now and I tell you this house is AWESOME. So full of family and love and absolutely no jealousy at all. Speaking as a grandmother I honestly don't know how any grandparent can go without seeing their grandchildren, ALL OF THEM. I can't do it. If I don't see the girls, we chat daily, I mean the grandchildren are the best thing that has ever happened to me and my hubby. For all of you out there having any problems, trust me I am open to be the "cyber space Grandma Sherry" to any and all!!!! I honestly absolutely without a doubt love all of my grandchildren equally and I am blessed to have such a wonderful famiy, son in law, son's girlfriend, my daughter, my mama, my hubby and my grandchildren. Now with this blogging I feel I know so many of you and if we ever met, I just know I would love ALL of your family!!! okay I so see your point, as my children grew up like that. There was always one special grandchild but hey we moved away, did out thing and bingo, we are now grandparents to 4 wonderful children.
My dilema is and always has been, the twins live with us, they were our first grandchildren and needed us from the start due to their drug running, thieving so called mother. Our son is their dad, but at 17 he wasn’t ready to be a dad, so we took over. The twins didn’t ask to be born and their crappy life wasn’t fair.
Then along came our daughters beautiful little girl. But they lived in Texas and us in Washington. So far, too many states but hey this grandma called every single day and I still do.
Five years later along came our other beautiful granddaughter, our miracle baby as we call her. Our daughter was almost lost as well as our granddaughter. BUT and here’s the BUT!! WE included all the children in this event. Headed right over to Idaho where they moved to from Texas, and the twins and Miranda’s older sister Mikayla helped take care of Miranda. Learned the heart monitor, how to change diapers, how to hold her etc. All together as ONE and that’s the way I like it.
I have had many talks with the twins and with Miranda and Mikayla. I know I asked the twins how they think the girls feel. They live with us and see us 24/7 yet the girls only see us a few times a year. So when we are all together I apologize if I seem to spend more time with the girls. It’s great but the twins understand and tell me they love their cousins and all is good.
Now it’s the older ones taking the little ones out to the movie, shopping etc and the little girls just love it. They idolize their older cousins. I know Mikayla adores Ashley especially when Ashley cleans out her closet and passes all the “neat” clothes down.
Miranda tells Bryce he is a fun cousin. Now how lucky am I??? A Grandmother, yet mother, yet always open with everyone. No favortism allowed in this house. Of course the 6yr old gets treated different from the 11 yr old or the 18 yrs old, but that’s just age. They all know we love them deeply, all like our own.
Now we have the girls for 3 weeks, well, boo hoo only one week left now and I tell you this house is AWESOME. So full of family and love and absolutely no jealousy at all.
Speaking as a grandmother I honestly don’t know how any grandparent can go without seeing their grandchildren, ALL OF THEM. I can’t do it. If I don’t see the girls, we chat daily, I mean the grandchildren are the best thing that has ever happened to me and my hubby.
For all of you out there having any problems, trust me I am open to be the “cyber space Grandma Sherry” to any and all!!!!
I honestly absolutely without a doubt love all of my grandchildren equally and I am blessed to have such a wonderful famiy, son in law, son’s girlfriend, my daughter, my mama, my hubby and my grandchildren.
Now with this blogging I feel I know so many of you and if we ever met, I just know I would love ALL of your family!!!

]]> By: Jennifer http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-8 Jennifer Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:26:38 +0000 http://theultimategrandparents.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/little-ones-and-big-ones-crave-equality/#comment-8 I couldn't agree with this more. My husband has two siblings who live in the same town as their mother. Both siblings have children. The sister's little boy gets all the grandmother's love and attention, while the brothers two children get almost nothing. Well, that's not true, they get a fair amount of disdain, which is even worse. There's nothing wrong with these two kids; in fact, they're charming and well behaved. My mother-in-law is just a b-word. As for us, we live far enough away that contact with Grandma is minimal. When we are together, the hierarchy with the grandma is: the little boy, then my two girls, and then finally the other boy and girl. Not fair, not fair at all. Within my family, things are much more fair. My mother, in particular, has no favorites and gives everyone the same amount of love. My stepmother... well, she needs to work on the favoritism thing, but luckily my girls haven't noticed the difference. I couldn’t agree with this more. My husband has two siblings who live in the same town as their mother. Both siblings have children. The sister’s little boy gets all the grandmother’s love and attention, while the brothers two children get almost nothing. Well, that’s not true, they get a fair amount of disdain, which is even worse. There’s nothing wrong with these two kids; in fact, they’re charming and well behaved. My mother-in-law is just a b-word.

As for us, we live far enough away that contact with Grandma is minimal. When we are together, the hierarchy with the grandma is: the little boy, then my two girls, and then finally the other boy and girl. Not fair, not fair at all.

Within my family, things are much more fair. My mother, in particular, has no favorites and gives everyone the same amount of love. My stepmother… well, she needs to work on the favoritism thing, but luckily my girls haven’t noticed the difference.

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