This was an actual conversation with my mother on the phone last night:
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Getting the kids ready for bed
Mom: I’m bringing macaroni salad to your cookout on the 4th
Me: Great!
Mom: What else are you having?
Me: I have no idea…we just decided to have a cookout today. I’ll probably decide on the 4th and run to the store. *While talking I’m bathing kids, brushing teeth and trying to put a diaper on my son*
Mom: Are you making any desserts?
Me: I have one I’m planning on making
Mom: I can make…well, I’ll really have to wait and see how much time I have…I have a lot going on tomorrow
While this might seem like a perfectly fine conversation, there’s a little history that goes along with it. First, my mom is a college professor, and for those of you that don’t know, it’s a VERY flexible job and she only actually teaches two days per week. The other is that we have conversations like this a lot, only most of the time she goes on about how stressed she is and how she never has any time for anything. And me, I’m a working mom….I don’t get home until 5:00 each day, and then it’s time to make dinner, clean dishes, play with kids, do laundry, pack kids’ bag for the next day and then get everyone ready for bed.
My reminder for today is please remember that there is no crazy life like a life filled with kids. I’ve had a career-driven life with no kids, and now I have one with kids, and it’s definitely a lot harder. So be careful when you call you kids up and talk about how stressful your life is and how you never have time to do anything. To prove my point, ask them when the last time they actually got to watch a full TV show together that didn’t involve puppets or big purple dinosaurs was? Or when they actually got a good night’s sleep. My point to my mom is that no matter how hard your day is, at least when you get home, you can plant yourself on the couch and sleep if you want to. I, on the other hand, have to cook dinner and play with my little munchkins (OK, that’s not the hard part, but the baths and teeth brushing are not a walk in the park for me). It’s not that we don’t care about your stressful day, it’s just hard for us to empathize when our lives are like that every single day!
The Ultimate Grandparents 
I can see this one both ways.
While there’s no denying that moms — especially those who work full-time — have a lot going on and far too much stress, stress is a personal thing and what one person can handle with ease might knock another person back on her tush. Some people can deal with the vagaries of life, while others go into the fetal position over the smalled thing.
Your mother has been through the throes of parenting small children, so at some point she surely experienced juggling eleventy-seven tasks at once while one child spilled juice on the carpet and another set the cat on fire. Your mom just forgot what it’s like to be in your shoes.
Hang in there.
I feel you’ll understand your mother when you become grandparent and left alone when no one there talk to. That’s also kind of stress.