I was having dinner with our neighbors the other night and we got on the subject of grandparents. One of the women has parents and in-laws that are the exact opposite of each other – Her parents do nothing, and her in-laws want to do everything. Since I don’t have the latter, it was interesting listening to her frustrations.
She said that when she had her kids, her mother-in-law would come over and want to do everything (but nothing that was helpful) – she reorganized all of her drawers and closets (translates to this woman now had no idea where anything was) and kept bugging her to let her do more.
Like I said, I have never dealt with this, but I can see where it might be annoying. For me, the ideal grandparent (especially as a new mom) would be someone that comes in and makes meals, and does general cleaning for me, and offers to take care of the baby when and only when the new mom needs a break. Or a shower. Or a nap.
One of the other women there shared her experience of her mother-in-law offering to bake this wonderful strawberry cake for her. However, when she was done making it she went and sat her butt down on the couch, leaving the entire mess (sticky strawberry goo) for the new mom to clean up. While this seems like an obvious problem to me (and most of you reading as well) apparently some people think it’s OK.
These two women also shared how when they were about to embark on motherhood their mothers told them “I raised my kids, don’t expect me to raise yours.” What??? I think we need to look at the history of grandparenting – parenting should not stop when your kids turn 18. Think about that all of you young men and women out there…don’t have kids if you want to be done at 18…it’s just not fair to your kids!
The Ultimate Grandparents 