We’ve had a lot of anger and frustration building up about how my in-laws treat my kids versus their other grandkids. We didn’t know how to handle it…we had fear (based on prior experience) that if we tried to bring the subject up it would start an all-out family war. However, we knew that as Christians it was our job to approach the person we have a problem with and talk to them about it.
My husband did just that this past week and it truly seemed to do more good than harm, which is a relief. He pulled his dad aside and talked to him about what was bothering us. His dad was very receptive and seemed to really listen with an open heart. We were told some things about why some of the supposed “favoritism” was going on which made it a little more clear to me (it still hurts a little, but at least I know it’s not out of malice towards us).
We haven’t had a chance to see if there’s any improvement yet as we have not seen them again since the conversation. I pray that it gets better since my daughter has already started asking questions about why grandma and grandpa spend more time with her cousins than they do her.
My lesson here is that if something is bothering you, say something! I’m sure you’re nervous about how it will come out, but at least you can feel confident that you did the right thing. This goes for grandparents and their kids! I was getting really nervous that if something major happened, my husband and I could blow up at any minute and then everything would come pouring out – all the hurt and anger because we had kept it inside for so long. But now I feel better knowing that it’s been discussed and not kept inside any longer.
The Ultimate Grandparents 
I’m glad that went well for you! And, I hope things improve.
Alas, I cannot use the same honest approach with my father and stepmother, so I had to take a more circuitous route. I casually mentioned to my sister that I was offended that the parents hadn’t been to my house in almost two years — supposedly due to our father’s terminal cancer. Yet, even though they couldn’t make the 4 hour drive to our house, they somehow managed to drive 5+ hours to see their only grandson — at least 8 times during the time they didn’t make the journey to see their only two granddaughters. If I had brought up that point directly, I would have been seen as the bad guy, hassling the sick parent and his stressed spouse. So I mentioned to my sister, who must have mentioned it to them in some way, because they were up here about three weeks later. And, yes, I’m still a bit miffed over the obvious favoritism.
We have tried being honest with my in-laws about their obvious favoritism towards their daughter’s son and they are very defensive about it, blaming everything under the sun on us. When asked why my FIL didn’t go with us to the park (they will see our son 5 days this entire year) he said “I’m 71 and I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.” Though that argument is true, unfortunately he proved that what he didn’t want to do was spend time with our son. Now we are supposed to apologize to them. I guess it’s for the best that we will only be spending 5 days with them this year, if that’s how they treat my son.